Write to Sanity

This Life is a prison

This life is a prison. You may think your world is, but try making it your home for thirty years. I am about to be paroled. I never thought they would let me out. Let me introduce myself. Steve Smith, I have been a guest of the Jefferson City Correctional Facility since 1966, I was fourteen.

My only saving grace was I was 14 when it happened. Guess they thought it was too young to put me away for life. Four years in juvenile detention and then off to live with the big boys in State Prison.

Everyone in prison is innocent or at least it's not their fault they are here.
I am not. Innocent. I knew what I was doing and I didn't exactly plan it but I thought it over for a few seconds before I took aim and fired.

"Life is half spent before we know what it is." George Herbert said that.
My life is spent. Where will I go and what will I do when I get out of here? I don't know anything else.

My mom used to visit me every Sunday and bring lunch to the yard, she started bring enough for everybody when she saw how starved we were for home cooking. Then the warden thought better of the idea, you know she might just poison us all and they would be out of a job. She still kept coming and telling me everything about everybody and how much she loved me and how my life would turn around if I was a good boy now.

My mom died in 1982, bad heart, too much stress I figure. They wouldn't let me go to the funeral. No one has written or visited me since. Guess you can't blame them. Who wants to introduce Uncle Steve the convict to the kids at thanksgiving.

I guess you can tell my anxiety level is high. I got $109.95 coming to me for working all these years, a clean set of clothes that I will wear out of here, some toiletries and a bus ticket to a halfway house, where I can stay for three or four months till I get my own place.

George Herbert was an English Poet, he was only forty when he died in 1633 but he had a lot to say and I have had a lot of time to read. This is one of my favorite George Herbert quotes, "Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along."

I am going to have to start now. My tools are few and most of them are rusty. I don't know how to start. I don't know how to answer all the questions that will be asked. How do I explain my life?

"The shortest answer is doing." George Herbert

George had a lot of wisdom he also said no man can knpw the depths of another mans burden. If you have ever been desperate, I don't mean the kind where you do something and are desperate not to get caught. I mean desperate to find the why, the reason just to try and make sense out of anything. Give me one good reason that's all I need. Doesn't even matter what the reason is for, it just has to be good.

No, I am not suicidal. I have a good reason for not doing that. Somehow it is not enough to spark that part of me that should would to live, to taste life and savour it.

They are known as the shell race

They are known as the shell race, because there is no doubt that they are souless.

It happened so quickly, so quietly. That no one thought anything was far from the norm.

There is no escape

They are everywhere

Don't you see them?

There is no where to hide

At first I thought

Terrorist Among Us

How to avoid stalker........

I once had a stalker.

He never met me, but as far as he was concerned we had a relationship.

The only way to avoid a stalker is never do anything in public and if you must grocery shop, run errands etc....Don't have a regular schedule, mix it up as much as possible.

That's my advice, not that I follow it all that closely, and here is my stalker story.

Back in the day, I was young, smart and energetic. I was an entrepreneur.
While selling advertisning for a radio station I started my own business.
A small low budget start up dating service for the "Slowzarks" (you have to have lived here and be from somewhere else to understand the full impact of the name of the town) .......to be continued

Another Thought

The best thing about these blogs are they never get seen because everyone advertises crap and so does google....u can't next blog to more than one web-site at a time.

The truth is, life "is what you make it and there is no destiny. Just choices you made along the way.

Take me for instance I chose to get out three semi-long term relationships because I was working towards disproving my long standing theory that compromise will solve everything.

And , in fact I did. Disprove my theory.

Anyway tonight I understood there is something special about me. Not necessarily a good special all the time.

I was born in 1957 and that makes me a baby boomer per Wikpedia ...
Born the same year as Osama Binladin ..wonder if the moon was in a bad place that year and we got too much radiation on the food our mothers ate...not to say I am crazy like he is crazy but there must be somone out there born at a special time with a special purpose who makes all the choices to bring them to be a peaceful leader for all nations an example of how it should and can be done.

U.S. Births 1957
Year
Births

1957
4.3 million

A baby boomer is someone who was born during the period of increased birth rates when economic prosperity rose in many countries following World War II. In the United States, the term is iconic and more properly capitalized as Baby Boomers and commonly applied to people with birth years from the span 1946 to 1964, which may comprise more than one generation. The Baby Boom is the iconic term widely used to refer to the American population and culture in particular, as post WW II demographics abroad did not mirror the sustained growth in American families over the same interval. Baby boomers also had the highest median household incomes in the United States.[1]

Now really all that is just jibberish, life is what you make it, not how you get categorized by anyone!